Love Shouldnt Hurt Essays - Abuse, Behavior, Human Behavior

Love Shouldn't Hurt Domestic Violence is emotional or physical abuse or the threat of physical abuse, used by one person in a relationship to gain control over the other person.(1) Rich, poor, Jewish, Christian, homosexual, heterosexual, abuse comes from all shapes and sizes. Domestic violence is the most prevalent cause for injury to woman in the United States. Often incidents of abuse start small with an abuser slowly taking control, as the relationship intensifies, the frequency as well as the intensity of the incidents also steadily increase. The incidents are then preceded with a phase in which the abuser may apologize, claim it will never happen again, express regret, promise to change, and/or blame their partner for what occurred. It is not easy for a person who is being abused to just walk away, and someone fleeing from their abuser will often return repeatedly before making a complete break. At the point in which a person is ready to walk away, they are normally battered, their life in danger, with no self-confidence, feeling they cannot live without their abuser. To a person who is not in an abusive relationship it is easy to tell someone being abused simply to walk away, but that person either doesn't know they are being abused, won't except it, or thinks it is their fault and they deserve it. Basically it is not as easy as it sounds. Domestic violence can take a number of forms, including: physical behavior such as slapping, punching, pulling hair or shoving, forced or coerced sexual acts or behavior such as unwanted fondling or intercourse, or jokes and insults aimed at sexuality, threats of abuse -- threatening to hit, harm or use a weapon on another, or to tell others confidential information, and psychological abuse -- attacks on self-esteem, controlling or limiting another's behavior, repeated insults and interrogation. When all is said and done, wife-beating results in more injuries requiring medical treatment than rape, auto accidents, and muggings combined.(2) Although on the surface domestic violence can appear to involve only the two parties of the abuser and their victim, the effects of abuse branch out to incorporate, indirectly all of society. It is not just a personal issue. Abuse goes outside the house, and affects every aspect of the victims life, because abuse is not about hitting the person, it is about controlling their lives. A child, by definition, is a person who is dependent upon adults and the environment for not only physical, but for emotional sustenance as well. This includes emotional warmth and nurture as well as protection from both external and internal threats to a child's sense of safety, self-esteem and well being. A parent and the home should provides a child with a safe space in which to experience their many complex and often intense emotions. Aggressive, passionate, sad or painful feelings arise in all human beings. The infant, toddler, and young child are helped by care taking adults to accept and tolerate frightening impulses and feelings. A child's idea of self worth and of belief in one's own goodness and in the general goodness of others -- is thus a fragile entity. When the adult surroundings are full of conflict, fear and p ain, a child's growth and emotional well-being are clearly jeopardized. There is a public education campaign about domestic violence currently being conducted on the New York City subway system. The poster used in the campaign has a picture of a child who is described as a highly sensitive recording device capable of detecting and remembering the abuse that occurs in his or her home. As the poster suggests, if tension, anger, and violence are present in the home, a child will know about it -- whether or not he or she has witnessed it directly and whether or not abuse is openly discussed. Regardless of how much effort has been made by adults to shield and protect a child by making sure that the violence takes place in private and by keeping it a secret, when a mother is being battered, a child becomes a victim too. The difference between the child and the adult victim is that the adult is, at least to some